Reality

When you're diagnosed with cancer, doctors tell you not to Google it. There's just too much stuff out there.

Of course, I didn't listen.

In the start of my diagnosis, I was reading all kinds of stories of people who had colon cancer and kicked it's  butt...and then there were the ones who didn't. After reading a few of the "fought it and died" stories, I heeded my doctor's advice, and stopped Googling. It was just too scary for me to see this battle ahead of me, and absorb the possibility that I might not win.

Now that I am on the downside of the mountain, I snuck a peek again.

When colon cancer is staged, not only is it given a number; it's also given  a letter. Just like the numbers, as the letters progress, the prognosis is worse. Stage III (my stage) is given 3 letter grades: A, B, and C. When my cancer was staged, I was too scared to ask for the letter classification...

In my Googling, I discovered I am stage IIIC, because I had 7 cancerous lymph nodes removed.

Ok, now that I have this info, let's Google "Colon Cancer Stage IIIC 5 year Survival Rates".

27%, according to cancer.org.

Holy. 

Shit.

...

So, there's two ways I can look at this:

A. There's a 73% chance I will be dead in 5 years.
B. There's a 27% chance I will be alive in 5 years and have KICKED IT'S ASS!

I am choosing letter B.

In choosing letter B:
- I can no longer look at letter A. 
- I am committing to a healthy lifestyle packed with lots of fruits, veggies, fish, twigs and birdseed. 
- I am confident in God's plan for me, and will accept whatever that plan is. 
- I commit to appreciate life, and what God has given me: a wonderful, loving, supportive husband, a family who cares, a fantastic group of friends, and two loving furkids. Oh, and let's not forget the SECOND CHANCE I got in my cancer being discovered one stage before terminal. Actually, it was 1/3 of a stage. 
- No more Googling. Everyone's situation is different. Most people diagnosed with stage IIIC are over the age of 70, and can die from other things post diagnosis (the statistics don't account for this). I have youth and my "coming from sturdy stock" in my favor. 

I am a lucky and fortunate girl. Cancer and it's treatment have left me with a long road of recovery, but I am going to walk it. 

Every step.