I am a month and four days chemo-free. When I was in the depths of chemo hell, I had envisioned this to be so much different than it is. I had imagined feeling a bit sluggish for awhile, but being back to "me" a lot quicker than I am getting there. My main issue is the lack of endurance, and the neuropathy. Stairs still leave me winded after one flight, and my feet are still numb and feel like they are going to pop after walking 10 or so paces. I swear, after walking through the grocery store, you could take off my shoes and see a big, inflated ball of a foot with little tiny toes poking out...but, they look normal. They just feel like...Fred Flintstone feet.
I am still going to acupuncture twice a week. I asked the acupucturist if I was being impatient. She said I should give it more time...like four more weeks...and then we will evaluate my progress. I have had some improvement...but I have a LONG way to go. We tried electric stimulus on the needles yesterday. It definitely woke things up, but it didn't last.
Part of me is scared this is permanent. I was told at the beginning of my treatments that the neuropathy could be. I can't think about that right now...too scary. I need to focus on today, and what good it has given me.
I have gotten used to the new eating regimen. I have found myself craving vegetables...unheard of in my "former life". We continue to experiment with new types of fish. So far, tuna steaks and swordfish are ones I would definitely eat again (especially swordfish!), and Mahi Mahi is on the menu for the weekend. Definitely a huge change in eating habits, for both of us. It feels good to have made the switch.
So, yes, I am frustrated, but I won't let it kick my butt. I need to keep doing what I am doing, and whatever the result ends up to be is what was meant to be. I don't have cancer anymore. I have to hang on to that.
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Sunday, January 20, 2013
Big Changes
Wow, cold has returned. What a shock...we live in Minnesota, and it's cold? Pfft.
We tried to get out and enjoy the warmer weather the last two days by bringing the "kids" to the dogpark. I made booties for them awhile ago, and this was an opportunity to see how they worked. They worked fabulous, but it was absolutely hilarious watching them try to get used to them. They were a bit slippery on the snow, so traction to take off running was more like watching an old cartoon where the character runs in place for a couple of seconds before taking off. I laughed so hard I cried. Good times.
I had a visit with the nutritionist on Friday. Wow, do I have some changes to deal with. Fortunately, I can still eat meat, but my red meat intake is extremely limited. And, red meat (as far as colon cancer prevention is concerned) also includes pork. So, for meat, I can do chicken, turkey, and a maximum of 6 ounces of red meat a week. I can do as much fish as I want, but I don't like many types of fish. We tried tilapia yesterday...blech. We will keep trying, but may have to do the shrimp and seafood route instead. Fresh tuna steaks are next on the menu.
I had acupuncture yesterday. After all the needles came out, he gave me a pounding massage on my arms and legs to get the blood moving more. Wow, did my feet feel great after that! Since we are still in the beginning of treatment, the effects don't last...I still feel improvement today, but nothing like I felt when I left the clinic yesterday.
I haven't fallen since I stopped taking the Gabapentin., and I am not dropping stuff as much (although, I did drop my entire dinner plate on the table last night! My wonderful hubby scraped it all back onto the plate, and gave me his. What a guy!)
Last night, I had a dream our old dog, Gator, was still with us. He could swim and walk just fine. I woke up feeling sad that he was gone. He was a great little dog with the attitude and sense of humor of his mama. He spent 16 years with us, and we were so blessed to have him for that long. For the last three years of his life, he was having acupuncture treatments for arthritis in his hips. I'm sure my experience with acupuncture is why I dreamt about him last night, but I also think it may have been a sign that he is doing just fine in heaven.
Love you, Monster!
We tried to get out and enjoy the warmer weather the last two days by bringing the "kids" to the dogpark. I made booties for them awhile ago, and this was an opportunity to see how they worked. They worked fabulous, but it was absolutely hilarious watching them try to get used to them. They were a bit slippery on the snow, so traction to take off running was more like watching an old cartoon where the character runs in place for a couple of seconds before taking off. I laughed so hard I cried. Good times.
I had a visit with the nutritionist on Friday. Wow, do I have some changes to deal with. Fortunately, I can still eat meat, but my red meat intake is extremely limited. And, red meat (as far as colon cancer prevention is concerned) also includes pork. So, for meat, I can do chicken, turkey, and a maximum of 6 ounces of red meat a week. I can do as much fish as I want, but I don't like many types of fish. We tried tilapia yesterday...blech. We will keep trying, but may have to do the shrimp and seafood route instead. Fresh tuna steaks are next on the menu.
I had acupuncture yesterday. After all the needles came out, he gave me a pounding massage on my arms and legs to get the blood moving more. Wow, did my feet feel great after that! Since we are still in the beginning of treatment, the effects don't last...I still feel improvement today, but nothing like I felt when I left the clinic yesterday.
I haven't fallen since I stopped taking the Gabapentin., and I am not dropping stuff as much (although, I did drop my entire dinner plate on the table last night! My wonderful hubby scraped it all back onto the plate, and gave me his. What a guy!)
Last night, I had a dream our old dog, Gator, was still with us. He could swim and walk just fine. I woke up feeling sad that he was gone. He was a great little dog with the attitude and sense of humor of his mama. He spent 16 years with us, and we were so blessed to have him for that long. For the last three years of his life, he was having acupuncture treatments for arthritis in his hips. I'm sure my experience with acupuncture is why I dreamt about him last night, but I also think it may have been a sign that he is doing just fine in heaven.
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Slowly getting there
I met with my oncologist, and I am still considered "No Evidence of Disease". Woot!
I have been having serious issues with neuropathy the last couple of weeks. It seemed like it was getting worse, rather than better. I was dropping everything, falling 3 times in one week, having a hard time walking in a straight line when I got out of bed.
Something didn't seem right. Then, I remembered my husband's experience with one of the drugs I am on...Gabapentin. It's a drug used to treat nerve pain and neuropathy, along with seizures. He had problems with dropping things when he was on it, and he got dizzy. I looked up it's side effects...numbness/tingling in hands and feet, vertigo, muscle weakness, fatigue. I stopped taking it yesterday, and talked to the oncologist about it today.
At first, he was nervous, thinking I was dealing with a brain tumor. After a lengthy neurological exam and talking about the side effects, he is confident it is the drug that is affecting me. I should be free of the side effects of the drug in a week. If the symptoms subside, we're good. If they get worse, we will need to do a brain scan. I don't think we will get to that point.
I had my first acupuncture appointment yesterday. It was amazing! After the appointment, I immediately noticed an improvement in my hands and feet. It will take a few sessions to get the maximum benefit. I go in again Saturday...can't wait!
I see the nutritionist tomorrow. It should be an interesting visit. I am looking forward to using food as my medicine.
So, things are slowly coming around. Not fast enough for me. I am really wanting to get active again. Hopefully, quitting the Gabapentin and starting acupuncture will help with this.
I want to be able to put this behind me and get on with my life with the new tools I have acquired.
I have been having serious issues with neuropathy the last couple of weeks. It seemed like it was getting worse, rather than better. I was dropping everything, falling 3 times in one week, having a hard time walking in a straight line when I got out of bed.
Something didn't seem right. Then, I remembered my husband's experience with one of the drugs I am on...Gabapentin. It's a drug used to treat nerve pain and neuropathy, along with seizures. He had problems with dropping things when he was on it, and he got dizzy. I looked up it's side effects...numbness/tingling in hands and feet, vertigo, muscle weakness, fatigue. I stopped taking it yesterday, and talked to the oncologist about it today.
At first, he was nervous, thinking I was dealing with a brain tumor. After a lengthy neurological exam and talking about the side effects, he is confident it is the drug that is affecting me. I should be free of the side effects of the drug in a week. If the symptoms subside, we're good. If they get worse, we will need to do a brain scan. I don't think we will get to that point.
I had my first acupuncture appointment yesterday. It was amazing! After the appointment, I immediately noticed an improvement in my hands and feet. It will take a few sessions to get the maximum benefit. I go in again Saturday...can't wait!
I see the nutritionist tomorrow. It should be an interesting visit. I am looking forward to using food as my medicine.
So, things are slowly coming around. Not fast enough for me. I am really wanting to get active again. Hopefully, quitting the Gabapentin and starting acupuncture will help with this.
I want to be able to put this behind me and get on with my life with the new tools I have acquired.
Friday, January 11, 2013
New Normal
So I had my CT scan yesterday, I will receive results next Thursday, when I meet with my oncologist.
Yesterday morning was a reality check of how freaked out my body became when going to chemo treatments. I didn't want to get out of bed. I left the house late. Once I got in to the building, the smells set off my survival instincts, and all I wanted to do was run (I know, yeah right, like I could run right now!). Then I went up into the chemo suite to have my port accessed (for the CT scan dye)...wow, my head was just a mess of "NO, I don't want to do this again!!!"
My port was accessed, and I got to leave!
Wow, chemo really is done. I can't get used to this gift of freedom!
Hoping and praying for good news from the scan...allowing the freedom to continue!
Yesterday morning was a reality check of how freaked out my body became when going to chemo treatments. I didn't want to get out of bed. I left the house late. Once I got in to the building, the smells set off my survival instincts, and all I wanted to do was run (I know, yeah right, like I could run right now!). Then I went up into the chemo suite to have my port accessed (for the CT scan dye)...wow, my head was just a mess of "NO, I don't want to do this again!!!"
My port was accessed, and I got to leave!
Wow, chemo really is done. I can't get used to this gift of freedom!
Hoping and praying for good news from the scan...allowing the freedom to continue!
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Patience
If this was a normal chemo week, my next treatment would be tomorrow. I can't put it into words how grateful I am that I don't have to do that anymore. I have a CT scan on Thursday, then meet with my oncologist next week to discuss results.
Piece of cake.
I am getting frustrated with my system taking its time to get ME back.
The neuropathy is still present, but getting better slowly. This morning, I could feel the coolness of the vinyl floor in the kitchen...something I haven't felt in about 3 months.
My fingertips are still numb, and my hands get sluggish quickly. I made booties for the dogs over the weekend...it was quite the challenge to make them with half-dead hands, but I did it!
I still huff and puff after doing one flight of stairs...frustrating in a 3 level townhome!
I actually styled my hair this morning. This is the first time I have done so in about a month. I still hate the way it looks...stringy. BUT, I hate the way I look in hats, too. I guess I just have to avoid mirrors for awhile.
Once again, a reminder that I have to have patience and to cut myself some slack. My body has been through hell for the last 7 months. It's not going to be back to normal in 2 weeks. It takes time to heal, and my body has a lot of healing to do.
Ronda will be back...it's just gonna take awhile.
Piece of cake.
I am getting frustrated with my system taking its time to get ME back.
The neuropathy is still present, but getting better slowly. This morning, I could feel the coolness of the vinyl floor in the kitchen...something I haven't felt in about 3 months.
My fingertips are still numb, and my hands get sluggish quickly. I made booties for the dogs over the weekend...it was quite the challenge to make them with half-dead hands, but I did it!
I still huff and puff after doing one flight of stairs...frustrating in a 3 level townhome!
I actually styled my hair this morning. This is the first time I have done so in about a month. I still hate the way it looks...stringy. BUT, I hate the way I look in hats, too. I guess I just have to avoid mirrors for awhile.
Once again, a reminder that I have to have patience and to cut myself some slack. My body has been through hell for the last 7 months. It's not going to be back to normal in 2 weeks. It takes time to heal, and my body has a lot of healing to do.
Ronda will be back...it's just gonna take awhile.
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Hello, 2013
Happy New Year!
It's finally 2013. I have been waiting to be able to say that for 6 months.
I am on my way back "up", and it's really weird to think I am not getting knocked back down again. I am still fighting the urge to get everything done before I can't do it. It's all uphill from here!
The neuropathy in my feet is still with me. It's getting slightly better each day, and I am hoping acupuncture will speed up the process.
I spoke with my nurse at the cancer clinic, and have the process started to work with a nutritionist to get my system cleansed and to try and get my body working normally again. This will involve several blood tests to figure out what the chemo has screwed up, and then we use food as our medicine to heal. I am also hoping to get into some kind of exercise routine soon. I am still to fatigued to attempt it now, but it's in the game plan. I am so looking forward to getting my body back to "functional". I have been sick way too long.
I am feeling a wave of gratitude starting to overcome me. I think it's because I am beginning to believe the worst is finally over. I am so thankful for my loving, supportive husband. I couldn't have fought this war without him. I am thankful for my support circle of family and friends who have been so generous with offers of help and prayers. My cancer has brought people out of the woodwork that I didn't even think they knew I existed. It's overwhelming...in a good way.
I think I am going to come out of this battle a softer, more caring person. I want to be able to reach out and help those who have been affected by this disease, just like people did for me.
It's finally 2013. I have been waiting to be able to say that for 6 months.
I am on my way back "up", and it's really weird to think I am not getting knocked back down again. I am still fighting the urge to get everything done before I can't do it. It's all uphill from here!
The neuropathy in my feet is still with me. It's getting slightly better each day, and I am hoping acupuncture will speed up the process.
I spoke with my nurse at the cancer clinic, and have the process started to work with a nutritionist to get my system cleansed and to try and get my body working normally again. This will involve several blood tests to figure out what the chemo has screwed up, and then we use food as our medicine to heal. I am also hoping to get into some kind of exercise routine soon. I am still to fatigued to attempt it now, but it's in the game plan. I am so looking forward to getting my body back to "functional". I have been sick way too long.
I am feeling a wave of gratitude starting to overcome me. I think it's because I am beginning to believe the worst is finally over. I am so thankful for my loving, supportive husband. I couldn't have fought this war without him. I am thankful for my support circle of family and friends who have been so generous with offers of help and prayers. My cancer has brought people out of the woodwork that I didn't even think they knew I existed. It's overwhelming...in a good way.
I think I am going to come out of this battle a softer, more caring person. I want to be able to reach out and help those who have been affected by this disease, just like people did for me.
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