I haven't announced this officially, so I am doing so now.
I started a donations page to help pay for my medical expenses. We have excellent insurance...my cost for treatment has exceeded $250,000. Thankfully, most is covered by our insurance. Right now, we only have to pay for office visits, which adds up to $500-$750/month.
I was introduced to the GoFundMe website by another colon cancer warrior. It seemed like an easy way to do things.
People ask if there is anything they can do for us. This is one way to help. To donate, click the "GoFundMe" button on the right of my blog page. This will take you to the GoFundMe page, which walks you through the donation. Any amount helps. Any overages will be donated to The Colon Cancer Alliance.
If you can't donate, you can help my sharing this link:
http://www.gofundme.com/1k50s8
on your own Facebook page.
For those who have already donated, thank you so much. It is REALLY hard to ask for help. We hope to be able to pay it forward when we get back to normalcy.
Thursday, November 29, 2012
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Bring it on, number 10
Tomorrow is #10. Frankly, I would rather stick a hot poker in my eye than do another treatment.
But, if I want to live, it's what I gotta do.
I've been trying to focus on what cancer has NOT taken from me.
Cooking is one thing I can still do as well as I did when I didn't have cancer. I enjoyed cooking for the kids when they were here for Thanksgiving. The day before, I cooked chicken tacos, and they were asking their mom to make them yesterday :-). I kept things easy and good.
I won't be cooking for the next few days, I will be too tired to do it. But, to know I only have 2 more torture sessions left will make it worth it. I have a nagging feeling that the next month is going to be the hardest month of my life, but it will be done.
Finally.
But, if I want to live, it's what I gotta do.
I've been trying to focus on what cancer has NOT taken from me.
Cooking is one thing I can still do as well as I did when I didn't have cancer. I enjoyed cooking for the kids when they were here for Thanksgiving. The day before, I cooked chicken tacos, and they were asking their mom to make them yesterday :-). I kept things easy and good.
I won't be cooking for the next few days, I will be too tired to do it. But, to know I only have 2 more torture sessions left will make it worth it. I have a nagging feeling that the next month is going to be the hardest month of my life, but it will be done.
Finally.
Sunday, November 25, 2012
Hitting Walls
So, I am about to sound like a hypocrite after my last post.
In the past couple of days, I have caught a cold. Any energy I had mustered to enjoy the holidays has been zapped by said cold, and it has left me in...ass mode.
I am pissed off at cancer. It has taken so many things from me. I didn't have the choice to keep them...they just left. Hair, nice skin, metabolism, money, sanity...
I hit a wall yesterday, after taking a shower and losing a TON of hair, sweating so bad while trying to look somewhat normal with makeup and my hair being "done"...
I am sick of fighting. I am sick of feeling like shit. I am sick of not being able to do the things I enjoy.
I looked in the mirror yesterday, after the "fight", and saw a sick person. My efforts were useless. There was no hiding from it; it's not leaving. I look sick, because I am. Chemotherapy took Ronda away.
The hubby came home, and I told him I was having a hard time. He comforted me while I sobbed...reminding me of the good things. I still have him and the dogs. I have 3/4 of this battle under my belt. I am kicking cancer's ass. My hair will come back. The weight will come off. The puffy face will go away.
Life, as we knew it, will return.
I will return.
He's right. I need to have patience. Patience with myself and the process. Instant gratification is not an option. One more month, and we're on the road to normalcy.
I can do this.
Another wall hit, and conquered.
Fuck you, cancer.
In the past couple of days, I have caught a cold. Any energy I had mustered to enjoy the holidays has been zapped by said cold, and it has left me in...ass mode.
I am pissed off at cancer. It has taken so many things from me. I didn't have the choice to keep them...they just left. Hair, nice skin, metabolism, money, sanity...
I hit a wall yesterday, after taking a shower and losing a TON of hair, sweating so bad while trying to look somewhat normal with makeup and my hair being "done"...
I am sick of fighting. I am sick of feeling like shit. I am sick of not being able to do the things I enjoy.
I looked in the mirror yesterday, after the "fight", and saw a sick person. My efforts were useless. There was no hiding from it; it's not leaving. I look sick, because I am. Chemotherapy took Ronda away.
The hubby came home, and I told him I was having a hard time. He comforted me while I sobbed...reminding me of the good things. I still have him and the dogs. I have 3/4 of this battle under my belt. I am kicking cancer's ass. My hair will come back. The weight will come off. The puffy face will go away.
Life, as we knew it, will return.
I will return.
He's right. I need to have patience. Patience with myself and the process. Instant gratification is not an option. One more month, and we're on the road to normalcy.
I can do this.
Another wall hit, and conquered.
Fuck you, cancer.
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Happy Thanksgiving!!!
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, and I am so filled with gratitude.
I am thankful for my wonderful husband who has been such a rock through this whole shitty cancer ordeal.
I am thankful for family, friends, and coworkers who have been so caring and supportive.
I am thankful for my team of doctors who saved my life.
Happy Thanksgiving to all!
I am thankful for my wonderful husband who has been such a rock through this whole shitty cancer ordeal.
I am thankful for family, friends, and coworkers who have been so caring and supportive.
I am thankful for my team of doctors who saved my life.
Happy Thanksgiving to all!
Sunday, November 11, 2012
What November Brings
Before this whole cancer thing, I had an "earmark" to which I compared everything to. It was when my oldest stepson had a horrific car accident that put him in a coma for 17 days. He had to learn how to walk and talk all over again. It happened on November 29, 1996. The day after Thanksgiving.
When we got the call, we packed up and headed to Traverse City in a lake effect blizzard through the entire Upper Peninsula of Michigan. The next 3 months were a blur of snowstorms, coma scales, and grasping onto the slightest hint of consciousness...the slightest hint that he was "still in there".
By the grace of God, therapy and time have produced a functional young man who now has a wife and family. We are so grateful. We came so close to losing him. It was a time in our lives that presented many challenges, for all of us. But, we made it.
Since then, life's challenges were met with, "We made it through Young Ron's accident, we can make it through anything."
It worked.
Two years ago, on November 6, 2010, my second oldest stepson and family were presented with their own "earmark". Their 4 year old son, Aidan, was diagnosed with leukemia. After more than a year of harsh chemo and many health scares, Aidan is now in the maintenance phase of his treatment and thriving. Many, many prayers have been sent their way...knowing this was their "earmark" that they would compare everything else to. Aidan's mom and dad have shown such strength. I don't know how they do it.
It is tempting to view November as a dark month, a month when "bad things happen".
I can't.
November is a reminder that there is hope that bad things can bring good. They bring gratitude and perspective. Once an "earmark" is experienced, the little things that tie one in knots tend to be pushed to the side. Things like appreciation of family, friends, and a higher power come to the forefront.
Simple things are cherished.
Our new "earmark" is here. The tools we acquire in this journey will be used to deal with the next.
When we got the call, we packed up and headed to Traverse City in a lake effect blizzard through the entire Upper Peninsula of Michigan. The next 3 months were a blur of snowstorms, coma scales, and grasping onto the slightest hint of consciousness...the slightest hint that he was "still in there".
By the grace of God, therapy and time have produced a functional young man who now has a wife and family. We are so grateful. We came so close to losing him. It was a time in our lives that presented many challenges, for all of us. But, we made it.
Since then, life's challenges were met with, "We made it through Young Ron's accident, we can make it through anything."
It worked.
Two years ago, on November 6, 2010, my second oldest stepson and family were presented with their own "earmark". Their 4 year old son, Aidan, was diagnosed with leukemia. After more than a year of harsh chemo and many health scares, Aidan is now in the maintenance phase of his treatment and thriving. Many, many prayers have been sent their way...knowing this was their "earmark" that they would compare everything else to. Aidan's mom and dad have shown such strength. I don't know how they do it.
It is tempting to view November as a dark month, a month when "bad things happen".
I can't.
November is a reminder that there is hope that bad things can bring good. They bring gratitude and perspective. Once an "earmark" is experienced, the little things that tie one in knots tend to be pushed to the side. Things like appreciation of family, friends, and a higher power come to the forefront.
Simple things are cherished.
Our new "earmark" is here. The tools we acquire in this journey will be used to deal with the next.
Thursday, November 1, 2012
#8
I am in the process of #8...hooked to a pump for 2 days, then it's coma time.
I received the results of my CEA (2.4...still normal!), and CT Scan (also normal!). I am still considered "No Evidence of Disease". The oncologist is thrilled with my progress.
The colder weather has definitely brought out the neuropathy in full force. I absolutely HAVE to wear gloves and a scarf when going outside. Oh, and shoes. I am one to go barefoot in the snow. None of that this year.
When this one is done, I am 2/3 the way there! I am hoping to finish up by the end of the year.
I will post more later when this one is done and I have more energy.
Thanks to all for the good thoughts and prayers. They are truly appreciated!
I received the results of my CEA (2.4...still normal!), and CT Scan (also normal!). I am still considered "No Evidence of Disease". The oncologist is thrilled with my progress.
The colder weather has definitely brought out the neuropathy in full force. I absolutely HAVE to wear gloves and a scarf when going outside. Oh, and shoes. I am one to go barefoot in the snow. None of that this year.
When this one is done, I am 2/3 the way there! I am hoping to finish up by the end of the year.
I will post more later when this one is done and I have more energy.
Thanks to all for the good thoughts and prayers. They are truly appreciated!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)