So, I am about to sound like a hypocrite after my last post.
In the past couple of days, I have caught a cold. Any energy I had mustered to enjoy the holidays has been zapped by said cold, and it has left me in...ass mode.
I am pissed off at cancer. It has taken so many things from me. I didn't have the choice to keep them...they just left. Hair, nice skin, metabolism, money, sanity...
I hit a wall yesterday, after taking a shower and losing a TON of hair, sweating so bad while trying to look somewhat normal with makeup and my hair being "done"...
I am sick of fighting. I am sick of feeling like shit. I am sick of not being able to do the things I enjoy.
I looked in the mirror yesterday, after the "fight", and saw a sick person. My efforts were useless. There was no hiding from it; it's not leaving. I look sick, because I am. Chemotherapy took Ronda away.
The hubby came home, and I told him I was having a hard time. He comforted me while I sobbed...reminding me of the good things. I still have him and the dogs. I have 3/4 of this battle under my belt. I am kicking cancer's ass. My hair will come back. The weight will come off. The puffy face will go away.
Life, as we knew it, will return.
I will return.
He's right. I need to have patience. Patience with myself and the process. Instant gratification is not an option. One more month, and we're on the road to normalcy.
I can do this.
Another wall hit, and conquered.
Fuck you, cancer.
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