Today, my fluids were disconnected and my port was de-accessed.
I AM DONE WITH CHEMO!
Of course, when the needle came out, I burst into happy tears...just like I did when the sun hit my face after my surgery. I feel like a HUGE mountain has been conquered in this fight.
There is a bit of denial that will have to be dealt with. I still have the sense of urgency...like I have to get everything done before I get blasted again. I have a huge case of the what-ifs...What if the cancer comes back? What if the neuropathy doesn't go away?
It's almost like I am scared to be happy for me. A part of me figures the second I begin to celebrate, something else will fall apart.
I know, not a good way to come out of the hardest fight of my life.
I'm working on it. It's scary to be optimistic after something like this has happened.
I will get there. I promise.
2013, here I come!
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